Chapter, here comes the hate mail

PCM was driving in his green Prius. He was sure he would have no problem getting to the scene of the crime. His "I brake for ACLU Lawyers" bumper sticker would get him through the crowd. He knew that the best way to stop the standoff was to have a protest. He had everyone set. They were all contacted with his email list that he had gotten from PETA. All the signs were made and they were ready to go. It was wonderful he thought as he pulled up to the Schmidt's store. The people had arrived on at least two buses. There were probably more than 28 people. He would have taken public transportation as well, but HIS time was too important to wait for the bus. The signs were perfect "Let the hostages go, they are people too", "It's not your fault, you had no choice", "If you register to vote with me we will get you out of this", "If you are hurt on the property of Schmidt's you can sue them and the police.", "This woudn'nt happen to you in Cuba." PCM was sure that they situation was under control and the people who were forced to rob the store because of the way society had treated them would come out without a fight. He never understood how the others treated the people that "they" considered criminals. PCM knew that they were forced into the situation by society. Everything was going well and then he saw it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the yellow scooter and knew what it was. Noooooo he screamed in his head. Then he heard it "Heeeyyyyy P, it's me and I am goin to help YOU!" was shouted into PCM's ear, the Tard had arrived. He wore a pair of red gym shorts and a howling wolf tshirt, this was accentuated by his yellow helmet and goggles. "What are you going to do Tard?" said PCM. "I have a helmet and a goldfish." said the Tard as he took the dead fish from his pocket. "I think he is sleeping now." stated the Tard. It was going to be a long day thought PCM.

Chapter, it just feels right

Lardass was happy to just stand in front of the store and watch the news on the big screen TV. He was in no hurry, he had nowhere to be. He heard someone behind him "You make a better door than a window." He glanced over to see a small petite woman standing behind him. Of course he made a better door than a window he was over 6 feet tall and 6 feet across. She was not going to move him, there was no one on earth that could move him if he did not want to move. He responded back to her "You would make a better snack than a meal." her response was rude "shut up fat slob." Fat slob, he would show her. He had eaten 2 dozen hard boiled eggs and 8 bratwursts for breakfast. He was not afraid to use them. He lifted his right leg just a bit and adjusted his sweatpants down. Then it came. She was hit by the concussion wave first. It knocked her back a couple steps and then onto her ass. A moment later the true impact of Lardasses' bowels hit her. She started to gag and her eyes teared up. "You might want to take a shower and wash your clothes, that ones going to linger for a few hours." Lardass declared. The woman got up and started running out of the mall, people all around her looked at her with disgust and some even choked as she went by. Didn't she know that he had more important things to do than deal with her. He had superhero work to do. Lardass chuckled as she ran away and picked the caraway seeds off her cheek.

Chapter Steven

Mr. Persnickety was having breakfast at the Random Cafe. He was not happy about it. He called the waiter over. "Look at this English Muffin" Mr. Persnickety said. "The ratio of nooks to crannies is way off, there is at least twice as many nooks as crannies." A look of bewilderment went across the face of the waiter. The waiter said "I don't see what you are talking about sir." Mr. Persnickety responded "This is a nook and this is a cranny, there are twice as many nooks. Are you so obtuse that you do not even see it? This is not even a English Muffin it looks Welsh to me. You probably do not even have a waiters license." The waiter looked confused and said "There is no such thing as a waiters license." Mr. Persnickety huffed and said "It was just as I thought you don't have a license. What do you call this?" he said holding up a napkin. "I specifically requested linen and this is obviously fabric. You cannot even tell the difference between linen and fabric. Next thing you are going to tell me is that this coffee is fresh when I know it is at least 14 minutes old. Go ahead and spread your lies and deceit somewhere else waiter. I have no time to argue with you about your wares." "I have not argued about anything" responded the waiter. "I beg to argue that fact. You have done nothing but try to cause problems by bringing me this food that is not fit for the trash. I an going to leave listen to some good music by the Bangles, not Susanna Hoffs. You probably could not tell the difference between them either. You disgust me go back in to the kitchen and stab yourself in the jugular, you will probably hit the carotid you imbecile." and with that he walked into the wet morning.

Chapter 4

It was a warm day, unseasonably warm for october. The bank was quiet but busy as the Cougar walked in followed by four young men in wife-beaters and speedos. "We are here to make a withdrawal" announced the Cougar.  She wore a pair of tight black leather pants, high heels and a halter top.  Her blond hair did not divulge her age of 45.  The young men went to the tellers and started to empty the drawers.  "You there" the Cougar motioned to a young man who was in line.  "Yes Mistress" replied the man.  "I want you to sit over here by the door ant tell the police that you were the one that took the money when they get here." she said as she stroked his hair. Her power of control over the young male was evident.  "Of course, I took all the money.  Can I get you a drink?" asked the man. "Hurry up my Cubs'." shouted the Cougar.  They all came together toward the door. When the Cougar turned to leave she broker her heel. "Dam it" said the Cougar as she turned and shot the woman closest to her. "That made me feel better, get in the Jag we are going to 9 West." the Cougar announced to everyone. "Lets get out of here before the Hurler shows up. That guy grosses me out. I need to get the the Botox clinic before it closes." She told her cubs as they got in the Jaguar XJ.

Chapter 3

The meeting was not going to be fun. Talking about a name for the group was always a problem. PCM had suggested the assembly of diverse individuals with abilities that are no more special than everyone else. He did not want to disenfranchise anyone. Bustanut wanted them to be called the Junk, or the Unit as they allready had enough members. Taking a page from the evil trio of Incontinence Girl, Bootilicious, and the Wrecktum known as the Anal Rangers. The Wrapper thought they should be called the Butties. The Hurler thought that what the Wrapper did on his own time was his business. If he had his choice they would be the Eh Team, the Hurler was Canadian so what did they expect. Widgeon wanted to be called Grape, not team grape or anything else, just Grape. He just thought is sounded nice. After the vote it was determined that the group would be called Superforce. The WASP would hate it as would Grammatically Correct Man. They did not make it to the meeting so they had no choice. The police scanner went off at that time. There was something going down at Random Research. From the sound of it Heatwave and the Possum were involved. Heatwave, Hypercolor Guy has not been the same since he met Heatwave, the Hurler thought to himself. "Let's go get em, bitches" the Wrapper said in his familiar lisp. With that he was off like his gown at senior prom.

Chapter 2

The WASP was more concerned about making it to the Hampton's in time for the regatta than the guy in the jewelery store at the moment. As he walked up to the door his sweater tied around his shoulders flapped in the wind and his top-siders cast a soft tap, tap, tap on the asphalt. The thief was surprised to say the least. He turned with a gun and pointed it at the WASP. "I do say old boy, diamonds are not the best investment. I would have gone for a nice gold backed mutual fund. This is of course based on the current market conditions and subject to change." replied the WASP. "I am gonna shoot you dude" said the thief. The WASP's amazing power of observation told him that the thief could not balance a checkbook let alone shoot the weapon. Especially since the saftey was stuck. In a flurry of argyle and Royal English Leather Cologne he was on the thief. As the cuff links collapsed on the crooks wrists and drove into the wooden cabinet the WASP exhaled. "I do say that was quite a waste of time, you have black shoes and a brown belt. I should kill you for that but I have to go. The police will be here soon. I have to get to the club for a game of squash and brunch." With that the WASP was in the BMW 760Li and gone. I dare say that was quite right entertaining the WASP thought to himself as he sped to the club.

Chapter 1

The long night was not kind to the Hurler. Fighting crime is never easy but on the dirty streets of Random City it is hell. By dawn he was so tired all he could manage was a weak dry heave. The burglar was hit so hard by the sour stench from deep inside the Hurler that he did not even fight as he retched uncontrollably until the police arrived. Dam I need to rehydrate thought the Hurler. If that would have happened against Incontinence Girl I might have never made it home, or I would need a hot shower at the least. He did not want to think of meeting Incontinence Girl in a fight. Getting the shit kicked out of you was one thing but getting the shit shot into you was not something you could comprehend. He had a headache and did not know how he was going to handle the meeting in 3 hours. Politically Correct Man was going to drive him crazy. Maybe he would just project a small stream of bile into his eye. That would shut him up he chuckled. At least the Wrapper would be there, maybe he could throw a ribbon over PCM's mouth.

Welcome to Radiator Comics

This is a different kind of comic. There are characters that may not have been in any comic universe you have seen before. They certainly would not have survived in any other universe. Just imagine the WASP complaining about the weather at the Hampton's or the Plumber doing what he does and laying pipe. There are other heroes and villains that you will be introduced to. The Roofie, Wigeon, Bustanut, The Wrapper, Incontinence Girl, The Hurler, The Caddy, Mr Persnickety, The Procrastinator, and Politically Correct Man to name a few. Follow along in a world where people have powers and just try to make the best of it. As has been said by The Richard "With great power comes great irritability". We hope you enjoy the adventures, or misadventures of a group of people that have been given powers that hell knows they did not ask for.